There’s no debating that to make love last, friendship between the two parties involved is important. A friend is someone you can talk to, have fun with, and feel understood and accepted by. Without these things, a relationship is unlikely to survive. For some people, attraction is the first step, followed by dating and getting to know each other, and then, developing feelings, and in the process, a deep friendship. For others, it works the other way round. Friends first, lovers second. With security and trust in place, sexual attraction is built over time. And of course, there is love, and probably lots of it.
Relationships that evolve from a friendship often last, because, at the end of the day, passion wears out. Once the honeymoon period is over, almost all relationships that work, resemble a friendship. So, how can it be a bad thing to have it already established? The honeymoon phase is anyway overrated, isn’t it?Perhaps not. While turning friendship into love has its own mystery, what it lacks is the thrill of getting to know someone new. You already know what your friend is like emotionally, so what is left to explore is who they are physically and sexually. The mystery involved in such a relationship applies to learning about each other as lovers. But, not as people. All said and done, there’s no novelty.
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Yes, as friends, you might already have great communication. But, as lovers, you will need to renegotiate the terms, and boundaries. You may no longer be able to tell your friend-turned-lover about the hottie you were drooling over in your office. Or, how you miss being single and in the dating market. As lovers, you might feel jealous and insecure, and this is something you will have to adjust to. As friends, you two probably feel fiercely protective of each other. There’s never reason to establish a ‘we.’ You are two individuals who exist side-by-side, following their parallel paths.
But, as lovers, you will have to join hands, and create a shared world. In doing this, you might face the challenge of not only protecting your own needs, and the needs of the relationship, but also your partner’s needs. So much confusion! The wonderful thing about dating a friend is that you can, together, decide the rules and regulations of your relationship. You two know each other well, and while it can work against you, you can choose to make it work in your favour. That said, a relationship is a relationship… there’s jealousy, insecurity, possessiveness, confusion, and ambiguity. If things don’t work out between you and your friend, you not only lose a lover, but also a friend. The stakes are high, so think it through before you make that