Dear Parents, We’re Not Like You And It’s Not A Bad Thing!

Dear Parents, We’re Not Like You And It’s Not A Bad Thing!

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Last evening, in the middle of a passionate debate about whether one can stay friends with an ex or not, my mother said, “The problem is that you guys have been raised on F.R.I.E.N.D.S. You believe that you can be like Ross and Rachel.” I laughed then, but, maybe there’s truth in her statement? We are not “Americanised”, but we are a confused generation, bang in the middle of being family-oriented and extremely independent and maybe that’s what leads to all sorts of messes. This especially comes into effect when we’re talking about our lives … and when our parents are talking about our lives, because there’s a yawning gap between our two outlooks. In our rapidly changing, neither-here-nor-there culture, we may not have everything figured out, but we do have a lot going for us. Perhaps it’s time for that gap to become a little less wide. Parents, listening?

No shame in sex…

No shame in sex
No shame in sex

Virginity is no longer a badge of honour. These days, a 20 something virgin raises eyebrows (which we agree, is also an extreme). This isn’t because we have become immoral and promiscuous. This is because we recognise sexuality for what it is – a part of being human – and we don’t deny ourselves our basic needs.

No shame in sexuality either…

We’ve come a long way from denying our sexuality, or entering heterosexual relationships because that’s the “norm”. Let’s be straight here: there is NO norm when it comes to sexuality. We need to start embracing different sexual orientations as a part of nature, because turning a blind eye towards your son or daughter being gay is a recipe for disaster.

We are intolerant of “isms”

We are intolerant of “isms”
We are intolerant of “isms”

We have strong radars when it comes to sexism, racism and classism. We are all for unity in diversity, and while we recognise differences, we staunchly believe in equality for all. Isn’t that a virtue we were taught growing up? Parents, you need to start living that lesson yourselves.

We don’t get hung up on things…

A relationship that didn’t work out, a job we got bored of, a night out with friends gone wrong, a massive blowout at the family reunion… we recognise these as a part of life, and move on quickly. We don’t have time for grudges because, frankly, they are too exhausting.

We take our careers seriously, but strive for balance over riches…

We take our careers seriously, but strive for balance over riches
We take our careers seriously, but strive for balance over riches

Our careers are important to us because financial freedom is what allows us to have the self-sufficient lives we value. But we don’t necessarily want to be billionaires. We want the work-life balance. We want to exercise in the morning, work during the day and socialise in the evenings. And yes, travel at least once a year. And we don’t mind doing that for the rest of our lives.

We are okay with marriage, and we are okay without it…

We don’t put a premium on marriage anymore. “Settling down” now means being able to support ourselves. Marriage is a personal choice. You want to get married, go for it. You don’t want to get married, don’t. And yes, living together is a very viable option.

Family is always priority

Family is always priority
Family is always priority

Here’s where we are misunderstood the most. Just because we have chosen to live on our own, or not to join the family business, it doesn’t mean that we don’t absolutely love and respect our families. We are trying to find our footing in this wild, wild world, just like our fathers and mothers did. We recognise our parents’ contribution to this independent streak we have in us and it also drives us to explore the world and embrace how it’s changing, And for that, we are forever grateful to them.

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